Look away, all you holiday cheer hucksters out there. We’re here to set you straight: If you’re trying to recruit Mariah Carey for the lead role in a Christmas movie like, say, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians or Top Gun Christmas, you’re not fooling anyone. Not when the diva’s latest holiday album, “Merry Christmas II You,” is available and contains a glorious 17 songs guaranteed to make Rudolph his Christmas Wish. The album — the 19th of Carey’s career — boasts artists of all genres, from pop (Michael Buble, Sia, “Jingle Bells”) to country (Meghan Trainor, Charli XCX, “White Christmas”) to jazz (John Legend, “Silver Bells”) to R&B (Carlos Santana, Yolanda Adams) to funk (New Edition, “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”). There are no classic yuletide standards, however; these, in lieu of the familiar, are decidedly less treacly. That said, songs are not the point; the focus here is on Carey, which makes sense considering she’s known as the Queen of Christmas. So let’s just get on with it.
Below, the full setlist for the album — which was inspired by that Goop-approved thing Carey did in September — and the track lists that were used on her previous holiday collections. We should also mention that, while no one can make us sleep better than Dec. 27, you can start clearing some serious space on your registry right this second: The album, which is currently available for pre-order, comes out on Sept. 7.
Vinyl
10,30 (Apple Music Single of the Week) – Miguel, Natalia Lafourcade, Natalie La Rose (Produced by Sol Pli-Aira, Dann Huff, Kemba Smith)
Jingle Bells (A Charlie Brown Christmas) – Charlie Brown, Marshall Crenshaw (Produced by Bob Peak, Dave Loud, Sam Sparro, Chris Marriner)
Babes In Toyland – Kate Nash, KT Tunstall (Produced by Josh Zepps, Hugh Lawrence, David Howell, James Isch)
Frosty the Snowman – Dido, Tony Pettibone (Produced by Thom Bell, Lee Baruch, Matt Willis, Lex Stuermer)
The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire) – Burt Bacharach, Hal David (Produced by Phil Ramone, Pharell Williams, Mica Levi, Colin Escott)
Feliz Navidad – Chaka Khan, Patricia Barber (Produced by John J. Randazzo, John Palumbo, Derek Lockwood, Yungen Kyong)
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer – Linda Eder, Emily Maxwell (Produced by Robert Soulful, Keith Coppola, John French, Jim Stevens)
White Christmas – Bing Crosby, Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye (Produced by Gil Friesen, Burt Bacharach, Bernie Taupin, Walter Schumann)
Silver Bells – Green Day (Produced by John Farrar, Lance Bangs, Mike Dirnt, Billie Joe Armstrong, Shelly Peiken)
Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) – New Edition (Produced by Bernie Taupin, Todd Harris, Lonnie Carter)
Jingle Bell Rock – Kool & the Gang (Produced by Jerry Solomon, Roy Ortyl)
Jingle Bells (In The Middle of the Night) – Rod Stewart (Produced by Ed Stetzer, Mike Bivins, Jim Johnston)
White Christmas – Paul McCartney (Produced by Joey Waronker, Paul McCartney, Ian Fraser)
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! – Spice Girls (Produced by Steve Bodkin, Lamont Dozier, Victoria Hargreaves, Melanie Brown)
It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas – Pavarotti, Willie Nelson (Produced by Terry Grossman, David Mould, Nathan Wallin)
Merry Christmas – Nick Lowe, Elle King (Produced by Geoff Macdonald, Norman Abjorens, Richard Davis)